#IVE GOT MY EYES ON YOU WOW PROFESSIONAL#

Yes, I know that a psychology undergrad doesn’t mean even close to a shit, but check this out:ġ. Then it hit my psychology-major brain like a zap from the Milgram machine. “I’m sitting here thinking about you, sending you little gifts and letters, and listening to your god damn baseball games on the radio EVERY NIGHT, and you’re accusing me of cheating on you?!” I’m at home doing the “Polly Thing” and cultivating the best parts of my life and worshipping at the great temple of ME so that I can be even better on the other end of this separation.īut this morning, out of nowhere, he said, “I have to ask you: have you been talking to XX and XX (past idiot boyfriends) while I’ve been gone?” After assuring him that I’ve blocked them completely out of my life as he requested several times before, I straight up burst into tears.

#IVE GOT MY EYES ON YOU WOW PROFESSIONAL#

Did I mention that he plays independent professional baseball every summer in some random town (he swears this is his last year), and will be gone for the next 90 days? We’re doing this long-distance thing, and one week in, shit hits the fan. The reason I wrote today is because he’s 1,100 miles away, yet we’re at it again. But then I’d hear you saying something like (and obviously in a much more clever and perceptive way) that there are red flags everywhere in this situation and I’d realize I already knew the answer.

So as all of this was going on, I’d sit down with the intention of asking you what the fuck to do. (It’s worth noting that in the midst of all of this tumult, we managed to get back on track and skip while holding hands through fields of rainbows and shit.) Not my thing, and, as I told him, one of the awesome things I have to offer in a relationship. I’ve never cheated, nor will I ever cheat. But I waver between being understanding and accommodating because I DID hurt him profoundly, and being absolutely appalled. What provokes him is either nothing at all, or my getting a random Facebook inbox from some idiot I slept with over a decade ago - which I never so much as acknowledge. In the past few weeks, he’s had random outbursts where he’ll assume that I’m cheating on him and that I’m a terrible person who just fucks guys and hands out herpes. Regardless, I cried and apologized and told him I’ll do anything to gain his trust again. He said that a) I’m dishonest and he can’t trust me because I didn’t disclose my “status” earlier and b) it’s hard to get over my sketchy past when it’s “on his dick.” It’s pretty easy for me to go into periods of self-loathing (though I do work every single day to get better about this - and your column is a huge contributor, BTW). Cue three weeks of (semi-righteous) chaos. I should have said something to him a long time before I did, but as soon as it became apparent what was going on downstairs with him, I came clean. I even went to the doctor for the whole battery of tests a week into this relationship and she was dismissive about it - saying it would probably never come back. Since then, I’ve been tested in all possible ways, four different times, and doctors continue to say that it’s HSV-1 (the cold sore kind) that sometimes “jumps” for a one-time genital outbreak, never again to resurface. A year and a half ago, I had a horrific genital herpes outbreak. In the morning I was like “WTF” and he was like, “I hate that you have a past.” Lots of tears (his), and lots of “processing,” and we were fine.Ī week later, it started hurting when he peed. One night at a party, he got so angry about my friend and I laughing about this idiot we knew in high school who would whip out his dick and wave it around at us, that he ended up storming out of the party, walking five miles home, screaming at me about my sexual past (never happened with the dick-whipper-outer by the way), and then sleeping on the couch. A month or so into our relationship, he sat me down and shed a tear telling me how in love and how certain he was that he wanted to marry me. However, we’re best friends through and through. Politics, education, socio-economic status, religion - you name it, we’re on almost opposite ends of the spectrum. We’re madly in love, despite being different in more ways than we are alike. I’ve been dating a guy for about four months.

Ask Polly: My Boyfriend Won’t Stop Raging About My Sexual History

Ive got my eyes on you wow